Monday

Your Dad vs. Your Uncle

OK... so here is the debate.... which one is better overall.... your dad or your uncle?
as illustrated by these celebrity chefs:

CFB Original!

Anthony Bourdain as "The Uncle"
and
Christopher Kimball as "The Dad"

Both have television shows.

Anthony Bourdain has the travel show "No Reservations," in which he travels around the world (and the country) looking at various forms of grilled meats and drinking indigenous spirits with local chefs who go on and on about how great it is to eat sustainable local produce and that food is made with love.
Meat on a stick!

Christopher Kimball has "America's Test Kitchen," where he walks around a big flowery house in Massachusetts with two fat white women and two hairy gay men who show you how to make recipes you grew up but with two different ingredients.
It's Bear-tastic


As you can see Chris Kimball looks like everyones dad... if not your dad, then your buddies dad. He is goofy looking, he wears glasses and a bow tie. He probably has a few too many Heineken's at weddings and does the electric slide with your aunt with the huge titties and the cholesterol problems
Hello Aunt Mimi!

Anthony Bourdain looks like everyones cool uncle, the one who still smokes cigarettes and has old Lou Reed records scattered around his flop house apartment. He took you to see Showgirls and still cracks jokes about your mom. He got you drunk for the first time and probably bought you a dirty magazine around the age of 8.
Delicious!

This is a question for the ages but today we will look at DAD

with a recipe from America's Test Kitchen for
Cider Glazed Pork Chops

Here is why I really appreciate Chris Kimball...
the way he approaches a recipe is with the precision and science that only a dad could provide. He is so analytical and technical that if you were to watch his show for more than 45 minutes at a time, you may want to rip your eyeballs out and jam them onto wooden spikes.

However, after 10-20 attempts, the team at the test kitchen really nails down every aspect of a recipe.
Prime example:
om nom nom

So here is the recipe for the glaze. I am not taking credit for this glaze because IT CAME OUT OF THE FUCKING BOOK.
Anyway.... here it is

1/2 cup of cider vinegar
1/3 cup of apple cider (or apple juice)
2 tablespoons of dijon mustard
1 tablespoon of soy sauce
pinch of cayenne pepper

all you have to do is get the right kind of Pork Chops from your butcher at the grocery store
hello gorgeous
(this is MY butcher)

that means THICK CUT PORK CHOPS... no floppy flimsy baby pork chops
thin like your weiner
SHAMEFUL!

throw in some vegetable oil and cook one side of the pork chops for about 3-4 minutes on medium-high heat
then flip the chops and cook for 1-2 minutes on the other side.
remove the chops and put them in aluminum foil.
pour off the remaining oil but DO NOT scrape the brown stuff on the bottom of the pan... that is good stuff.
pour in the glaze, using a whisk to break up the brown bits... use the chart to see when the glaze is done.

remember me?
(Remember this?)

when you've achieved the right level of glaziness... throw the chops (browned side up) back in the pan
along with the juice at the bottom of the foil.

let that hang out for a few minutes, flipping occasionally to get the glaze all up in them chops.
to serve, remove the chops and spoon a healthy portion of the glaze onto the chops.

ITS FUCKING DELICIOUS

Porky goodness

and Dad wins this round because....


Dad still bangs your mom
Damn girl!
while your uncle still sleeps with whatever this is
Can I get a sip of that?